Last week we looked at how our attitude should be Christ like in all circumstances. I want to follow up on that somewhat as we live in a society where its normal to use a strategy of destroying others of a differing position by criticizing them, often in a demeaning way. In fact, our society is referred to as a society of "social criticism", which, by its nature, gives justification to this demeaning and destructive strategy of criticism and accusation. All one needs to do is look at news headlines for confirmation of this sad reality. People make impolite or derogatory comments at will; they harshly judge our, or other’s decisions as if only they can be right, talk at length about what we’re doing wrong, openly accuse with no evidence or repercussions, and that mannerism has become the norm. If we are not very vigilant, this can influence us and our attitude towards others, how we see them and treat them. This critical and accusatory mood seems to permeate everything and is a predominate societal attitude. People believe it is perfectly ok to tear down any other person for any reason, giving no thought to the ultimate effect it may have on the other, or others for that matter. Criticism and accusations hurt, often very deeply, often for a long period of time. How should we handle and react to such derogatory comments, complaints and or accusations about us?
This is the reality of our society, and prophecy shows these things will also intensify in nature against anyone following God and also against the Church of God. First, we must always remember who the accuser of the brethren really is (Revelation 12:10); and who is a liar from the beginning (John 8:44). So, with that as the first strongly positioned in our minds, how do we proceed? Next, King Solomon was granted great wisdom (1 Kings 4:9) and he provides additional guidance to us in regards to negative, or even accusatory comments made about us: "For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin. Also do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others" (Ecclesiastes 7:20-22). The Expositor’s Bible Commentary has a comment about this passage that is helpful to consider; "… wickedness refers to a general way of life in which acts of sin are the norm. Here, however, righteousness is the settled way, though sins certainly occur and need to be repented of. The godly person should be genuine and sincere. He should not listen to gossip, especially by those who can observe him closely, such as his servant. An old saying is that "no man is a hero to his valet." At any rate, it is a reminder that at some time everyone has been guilty of critical gossip.
As an inset: However, it may be disguised or presented, don’t listen to gossip, inuendo or accusations; "an evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue" (Proverbs 17:4). This is God’s word, don’t listen, don’t participate in it. Although this is not the focus of this pastor’s message, consider these scriptures (Romans 1:28-31; Psalm 34:13, 101:5; Matthew 12:36; Ephesians 4:29; James 1:26; Titus 3:2; Proverbs 6:16-19, 10:18, 11:13, 16:28, 18:8, 19:5, 20:19, 21:23, 26:20; James 3:8, 4:11; 1 Timothy 5:13; 2 Timothy 2:16). We would all be wise, "…to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you" (1 Thessalonians 4:11); yet today—especially within social media—gossip, slander, inuendo and accusation flourish. There is no other way to express this other than; this is from Satan and designed to serve his purpose, not God’s. I feel it necessary to bring this up as it is a hard reality to face that people will speak evil of us; even make very hurtful accusations (consider Matthew 5:11; 1 Peter 3:16).
What God is saying to us through the words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 7 is that it is wise to ignore what people say about us especially in those instances. Humanly if others speak well of us, it can very easily feed our pride. However, when they speak evil of us or accuse us; it stirs up emotions, especially our anger which can lead us to sin, (Ephesians 4:26-31; James 1:19-20; Ecclesiastes 7:9; Psalms 37:8-9). From personal experience I have also learned it can also easily lead to feeling of emotional and spiritual exhaustion and even depression which puts us in a very vulnerable position. When we receive criticism, and especially accusation, our human nature wants to lash back in defense. (consider Romans 12:9; Matthew 5:38-39; Ephesians 6:12) But when we’re angered by what we hear spoken of us, rather than tell someone else, it is vital to immediately take it to God in prayer; and look carefully at the scriptural references on how we should conduct ourself (consider here Proverbs 14:29). A point that must also be made is that if there is any validity to any part in what has been said, even if said in completely the wrong manner, repent and be thankful for the revelation. "If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Fear of the LORD teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor" (Proverbs 15:31-33). It can be very hard to find when criticized or accused to be still and look carefully at oneself.
King David, who we know was a man after Gods own heart, further advises that we should not let negative comments and accusations get the better of us. Let’s consider this example found in II Samuel 16:5-13. "When King David came to Bahurim, the leaders and the people lined up on both sides of the road. Then a man named Shimei from Saul’s family began protesting and cursing David continuously, even throwing stones at him and at all his servants. Shimei cursed, yelling, "Come out! Come out! You bloodthirsty man, you rogue! The LORD has brought upon you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned; and the LORD has delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom your son. So now you are caught in your own evil, because you are a bloodthirsty man!" Then Abishai said to the king, "Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Please, let me go over and take off his head! But the king said, "What have I to do with you, …? So, let him curse, because the LORD has said to him, "Curse David." Who then shall say, ’Why have you done so?’" Then David said to Abishai and all his servants, "Absalom who came from my own body seeks my life. How much more now may this Benjamite? Let him alone, and let him curse; for so the LORD has ordered him. It may be that the LORD will look on my affliction, and that the LORD will repay me with good for his cursing this day."
Even though David was under the stress of the rebellion by his son Absalom, he did not get angry at a situation that could have easily provoked that emotion; but he committed himself and the entire situation to God. By doing so, he was able to use wisdom in handling the situation. Perhaps God may allow us to hear someone cursing us to see if we can endure it with compassion instead of desiring personal vengeance. Regardless, David brings up an interesting spiritual principle here: When we accept another’s right or wrong criticism without retaliation in thought or action, it may be that God, in seeing our anguish, will compensate us with a blessing. God sees all (Job 28:24; Proverbs 15:3; Psalm 33:13, 34:15; Jeremiah 23:24; Hebrews 4:13). Nothing can be hidden from God; He hears what people say about us, and He hears our words and what we say about others (consider here James 3:2-3).
In our society, and especially as God’s people moving forward towards the end time, we won’t have to look very long before we find that someone has said something negative about us or the church of God. Another valid principle for all of us to learn is found in Proverbs 29:12-13: If a ruler pays attention to lies, all his servants become wicked (in his eyes). The poor man and the oppressor have this in common: The LORD gives light to the eyes of both. What we are being told here is that that we can see clearly if we are not biased in our direction or trying to tell people’s sins. Wisdom dictates that we should not jump to conclusions but must give the other person the benefit of the doubt (consider Proverbs 19:11). If we do not do this, everyone can begin to look like a conspirator against us.
I suspect there are many more negative things said of, or about us, than we think (or even desire to know), and even by those we least expect. Nevertheless, it is easier to overlook many offences than to try to avenge one (consider again Proverbs 19:11 as there is so much contained in this simple Proverb). No matter how hard we try we cannot avoid criticism and accusations, these will happen. Elbert Hubbard, an early 20th century American author said, "To escape criticism—do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."
If you were to live your life trying to avoid criticism, you would accomplish nothing. Ironically there would most likely still be someone out there criticizing you. It is going to come whether we like it or not, and whether we try to avoid it or not. We are wise to prepare ourselves from God’s word for the inevitability of that fact! We have been called to be heirs and joint heirs with Christ; a calling that Satan will do all in his power to disrupt. He knows the power of words, especially unmerited criticism and accusation. Satan will throw as many fiery darts as he can muster, to enflame your emotions in an attempt to have you discard your shield (Ephesians 6:10-20, specifically v16). We must have faith in God, His Word and all His promises, including His justice.
As I begin to conclude this pastor’s message, I want finally to go to Christs own words. We must remember one of the principles in the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector is that justice will come to the one who puts down or condemns another (Luke 18:9-14): "Jesus spoke this parable to "some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: A Pharisee and a tax collector went to the temple to pray. The Pharisee stood and prayed with himself, ’God, I thank You that I am not like other men— extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’" The tax collector stood way back, would not even raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ’God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ Jesus concluded, "I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." There is often a self-righteous attitude in those who say negative things about—or accuse others. They are not disapproving of people for having faults, they are exalting themselves by focusing on the faults or perceived faults of others. So why bother to pay attention to their criticisms or their accusations? We would all do well to consider carefully what Jesus says in Matthew 12:7: "But if you had known what this means, ‘I desire compassion, and not a sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent."
Jesus says we should have compassion on the person who has criticized, accused or otherwise wronged us and forgive him or her. If we want God to forgive us for things we say about others, we had better first forgive those who offend or harm us. As hard as this is, Jesus tells us, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15 The next time you are criticize, accused or offended, remember the inspired wise words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 7, "… do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others." Don’t become discouraged for any reason, keep on keeping on, pressing forward toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).