Every person on earth is a remarkably unique individual. Examples are: we do not all have the same blood type, any transplants of flesh from another person are rejected by our bodies, our DNA is unique from that of every other person on earth, fingerprints, iris of the eye, shape of the ear and pretty well everything about us is uniquely our own. On top of that we have some inherited traits from our parents and we all have completely different set of experiences and circumstances that have made us who we are. There will never be another you. Each person has limitations that differ and the complete package of who you are is further impacted by emotions, attitudes, habits and characteristics that not only are unique and different, but are also in a constant state of flux and change. These things nobody can deny. You and I also have the ability to make changes in who we are. We can study and learn, examine ourselves for flaws, learn from mistakes and become better in every way - or not!
As children we were told that there is no point in crying over spilt milk. That is just as true today as it was then. What we spill may differ, but once it hits the ground and is lost, we cannot bring it back - and crying will not help. Still, we do tend to cry - some more than others. Why is that so? Among the various reasons, we would mention concern about the disapproval of parents or others. Depending on the degree of disapproval, our concerns may be enhanced. We may cry out of frustration - or just as a relief of our emotions. We may cry because we have been conditioned to cry. We can also learn to keep things in perspective and know when to cry and when to laugh.
The Bible is the word of God and it clearly tells us that there is a time to cry and mourn and also a time to laugh and rejoice (Eccl. 3:4). Too much of either one is not a good thing. We seem to be involved in judging how much of anything is too much in most areas of our lives. Food, water, the air we breathe or the exercises we do to stay fit all have two sides to the ditch. Too much or too little carries negative consequences in all of these areas - and we are left to be the judges of that. All too often, our judgment is lacking in precision and understanding. There are far too many who struggle with a variety of results from choosing too much or too little of anything.
Making decisions and judgments is an art that we have a lifetime to perfect. That lifetime does pass quickly and if our judgments are poor, it may be shortened. We cannot escape the consequences of our choices forever - they do catch up with us. Knowing how human we are it is obvious that from time to time we will make some real boners - some real "faux pas." What then? We may deserve a good swift kick in the derriere, but it seems the way our bodies are created, we really cannot kick ourselves very easily. There may be the rare person who can manage that physically. We also cannot pat ourselves on the back with ease - that too seems to be an area of our physical skills that is limited. So we may conclude that since we cannot kick ourselves when needed and cannot pat ourselves as often as we like, we must have been created to be somewhat neutral. Don't kick yourself and don't pat yourself. In other words, our life experiences consist of mistakes and successes - hopefully with the greater majority leaning towards patting ourselves. What about the mistakes and bone-head decisions we have made? We do have to live with them. We can learn from then and not repeat them.
Life is a serious business, but it can be so serious that the sparkle, fun and zest are missing. That is an area we can gauge by the number of friends we have or don't have, the joy with which we greet each new day - or don't, or some other sort of measure we may think of. If we cannot laugh at ourselves, and at the "faux pas" we make in life, then we are too serious. We need to lighten up a little and take time to enjoy the simple things of life. Children are like that. Most children laugh and play a lot - they also learn prodigious amounts of stuff every day. It is interesting to note that children rarely own anything expensive, don't fret too much about the milk they spill and don't live complicated lives. Most of us would say our childhood was one of the happiest parts of our lives. That is not true for every child, and since the mind of the child is not fully developed and filled with all the emotions, hopes and dreams of an adult, perhaps there is less to be disappointed about - but we can learn from children, we can learn that some laughter is very good and healthy for us (Prov. 17:22).
What do you do when you make a mistake - pull your hair out? That only leads to premature balding! Kicking the dog can get you a bite, kicking a wall will hurt your toe, throwing stuff around makes you look like a fool and being cranky and mad at the world will lead to isolation as people run from you. We can be too serious about the small stuff - and need to learn to laugh at our mistakes. Crying does not change the mistake and can lead to self-condemnation and a low opinion of our abilities - that only leads to a lack of effort and a growing habit of acting in ways that do nothing towards moving ahead. We need to act to correct our mistakes - crying is not the action that will do that.
We all experience fun things and situations in life can be hilarious. My lovely wife gets the greatest joy out of the calamities that I get into (provided I am not hurt). Falling off a log, tipping the canoe and landing in the water and a list of other minor calamities bring a sparkle to her eyes and almost uncontrollable laughter. It is so enjoyable that I make the mistakes on purpose - only to hear her laugh (at least that is one excuse I have used for being clumsy). Using and developing a sense of humour can add zest and sparkle to our interaction with others - and result in a much happier and more pleasant life for ourselves. It seems nonsensical to tell someone they have spilled the milk when they and everyone else knows the milk is spilled. Yet, we do tell them and sometimes make matters worse. There is no doubt that the cause for spilling the milk needs to be addressed. We teach our children to be a little more careful when they spill something - we adults also can learn such lessons. The old saying "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" is still applicable today. We ought not to continually make the same mistakes, we are to learn from them. We can learn more readily and speedily when we can laugh at our mistakes than when we condemn ourselves and groan and moan about them. We can be so serious about life that we forget to live! We can laugh as we reach for the mop and bucket to clean up the mess we have made. There is no cleansing action involved in crying - but cry if you must and then get the mop.
We blame the weather for our mistakes, the car, the other driver, our spouses, luck and if all else fails - we blame God. All of that is a way of crying over our mistakes and doing nothing to prevent or correct them. Laughing does not correct the mistakes either, but it does put us into the frame of mind where we are more likely to roll up our sleeves and do something about it. Laughing does not condemn us and make us frustrated, morose, angry and likely to do something to make matters worse instead of better. There are times when it is better to go to the house of mourning, as the Bible says (Eccl. 7:2). But going there all of the time sours us and robs us of initiatives. Try laughing at yourself once in a while - before others laugh at you. Beat them to the punch and you will find life a whole lot more enjoyable. That old saying carries weight: "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." People we meet are attracted to a smiling, positive appearance. We look better when we feel good. A happy heart shows up in our face, body language and our words (Prov. 15:13,15). We can grow in the direction of enjoying life - in spite of the trials and challenges that come our way - perhaps because of them.