When I was a little boy I could not speak English. Our family was German and that is what we spoke at home. I started school in 1942 in the little isolated coal-mining town where we lived, and our family was "persona-non-grata". We were the "little Hitlers", "Nazis" and "square-heads" although I had no idea what any of that meant. Being outcasts, none of the children in our family could ever be called "imitators" or "conformists." We were different and we remained different. It seems everybody wants to be accepted and to be "like everyone else" in our peer groups and societies. It was a blessing in disguise that we were not allowed to be "like everyone else." We all learned to be ourselves. All the children in our family became individuals, self-sufficient and capable people who were not afraid to stand alone if we believed we were right. One of my mother's favourite expressions was: "if everyone is going to jump into the lake, do you have to jump in too?" We all grew up being ourselves.
One of the tragic circumstances of our times is that so many people strive to conform to the crowd or to imitate someone else. Dress fads, gang connections, fixations on performing stars, and reluctance to step out of line and be yourself - to be an individual - has hindered the development of men and women of courage, vision and foresight.
It is good to "be yourself" just as long as that self has a good understanding of what life is all about. Jesus gave some straightforward admonitions in Matt. 19:18 when He said we are not to steal, lie, commit adultery, and we are to honour our parents and "love our neighbor as we love ourselves." It is easy to see that if you do not have regard for yourself - you will have little regard for your neighbor. One of the biggest problems we humans face is that of a lack of self-esteem or respect towards ourselves. That leads to all sorts of chaos in our lives and in our relationships with others. When people respect themselves, they will want to be the best of whatever they are. Of course, we are not talking about extremes which cause ungodly behaviour and thoughts. They will want to reach their full potential. In doing so, they please God and are of great benefit to others who may be far less fortunate than they are. God gave differing amounts of talents to various people. In Jesus' example in the story He related in Matt. 25:14-30, He gave five, two and one talent to whoever He decided had certain abilities. God was very displeased with the one who was afraid to do anything with the talent and just buried it.
We have all felt just a little envy towards someone who seems to have so much ability that they can do almost anything, it seems. The more we see how "great" they are, the worse we feel about our lot in life. We feel cheated, life is not fair, why can't we have this and that - and finally - nobody loves me. The sad thing is - not even yourself. That shackles us. We sometimes expect others to make us happy when the real key to a vibrant and joyful life is to learn to be happy with yourself. When you are happy, it can become infectious. The old saying is: "when you laugh the world laughs with you - when you cry, you cry alone." It is not that you can simply make other people happy, but you can encourage them, lift their spirits and perhaps they will develop the determination and will to make themselves happy. When we envy others we try to imitate them or conform to their definition of what seems to be success and happiness. We rarely see into the hearts of individuals and know what really lurks there.
Red Skelton was one of the most successful comedians in Hollywood. It has been said that in real life, he was one of the saddest men anywhere. Often comedians are truly unhappy and their comedy routines are not who they really are. They imitate happiness. That is a sad tale. Douglas Malloch advises: "If you can't be a highway, then just be a trail, If you can't be the sun, be a star. It isn't by size that you win or you fail…. It's being the best of whatever you are." Sometimes we cannot be the best we can be because we fear what other will think. Yet, we cannot possibly be anyone else - I need to be me and you need to be you. Too many people make a mess of their lives because they are trying to be something or somebody that they aren't. That simply does not work.
One great lesson God gives to us all is that we must let tomorrow go and not have regrets about the past. Paul was inspired to write a powerful passage about this concept of living. In Phil. 3:12-16 Paul explains his attitude. He states that he forgets the past (and he really had lots to forget). Now we know we cannot really erase the past from our minds - but we can fight to forbid that past from influencing our every thought. We can learn to control our memories. Paul then said that he strained towards that which was ahead. If we allow our past to shackle us, then we cannot move forward. Our loving heavenly Father knew that and therefore He planned for our reconciliation with Him to start at once with repentance and baptism - and move forward from there. The first thing God does is to erase our past and the penalties we have incurred from our deeds. He says He will remember them no more (Isa. 1:18,19) and neither should we. His cancellation of our debt is dependent upon the reformation of our lives. We need to overcome our weaknesses. Paul continually pressed forward to the goal to which he knew God had called him. That goal is to receive the gift of eternal life and to be a member of God's family. Paul concluded that all of us should take this point of view. He is right, because if we wallow in our own sorrow, we will never be worth anything.
There is a great lesson about the life of King David that was recorded for our benefit. Terrible sins like committing adultery with the wife of Uriah, and then through trickery and deceit tried first of all to implicate Uriah in the pregnancy of Bathsheba and then to kill him when he was not culpable. A full year went by and David buried his head into the sand, it seems. Not until the baby was born and God's servant denounced David for his sin, did David take a long look at himself (2 Sam. 12:7-15). When King David had given vehement prayers for forgiveness and accepted the penalties God placed on him, he left his sordid deeds behind and worshipped God with his hope restored (2 Sam. 12:22,23). David never forgot his deeds, but he accepted the gracious gift of forgiveness and trusted God. That allowed David to go on with his life. He became a wonderful king for Israel. God offers us a clean slate if we trust Him.
Peter knew the need people had to start over. There is nothing about us that He does not know (Psalm 139:7-14). Peter stated what to do in Acts 2:38,39. Repent and be forgiven. God helps through His Holy Spirit. We should not be imitators of anyone else, we cannot conform to that which is not us. We need to be ourselves. But we can grow inwardly by striving to think like Christ. We stand before our Creator completely naked, as it were (Eccl. 5:15). Only then can we be the clay in the hand of the Master Potter. We can become the best that we possibly can be, because we are not trying to hide behind something that would not really hide us, but that would impede our change and progress. Our inner man is renewed day by day - the real you and the real me. Now God can work in us through His Spirit to improve and develop the inner man - the real you s (Eph. 3:16-19). Only you can stop that process - but please don't.