Stress is our constant companion. The dictionary defines it as: "strain, a constraining influence, physical, emotional or mental pressure." We feel pressure when we need to be somewhere at a certain time, prepare for a vacation, clean up the mess our babies make and almost everything else - even kissing someone you love. Stress is not always negative. Laughing, crying, walking and talking can all be a strain on us - or a pleasant experience. Distress, however is defined as: "extreme pain or suffering, calamity, misfortune, that which causes suffering." Distress is not a pleasant experience. "Stress, when destructive, can truly mar personalities and disfigure fragile developing psyches," someone once noted. It can strike any gender and any age - showing up as anxieties, depression, headaches and more.
Some people seem to be able to handle challenges and situations in their lives with a calm, unruffled demeanor - they almost seem to be relishing the challenge. In fact, if there is no stress at all in one's life - that person may not be living. Stress is what keeps us being innovative, keeps our heart beating (fast at times), and pushes us to do something. Some say that stress is the "spice of life." We have all enjoyed competitive sports, challenges in hiking, biking or swimming - and a whole host of activities that are exciting. Stress of and by itself is not our enemy - but destructive or ongoing stress certainly can be. Usually we learn and develop a whole array of "tools" with which to handle the stresses in our life. If we somehow fail to possess an abundant supply of these tools - then we can fall prey to destructive stress. The problem for those who seem overcome by stress is not that stress exists (it always has and always will), but that sometimes there is just too much of it and we are not equipped with the ability to soften the effects of that sort of stress. Distress, then, can grow out of stress that is not controlled or that we are helpless to deal with.
Ever admire a person who can whistle a happy tune and face life with a determination to be an overcomer? Have you met such a person? If you have, then you have met someone who has a huge assembly of tools with which to handle stress. Two people can have the same sort of events strike in their lives - but react in totally different ways. One may simply work harder to change the circumstance while the other might just sink into depression and inaction. Heavy stress can cause us all to "bend" a little, but usually we spring back into shape. When you add an ingredient of brittleness to a person, that person may not be able to bounce back so easily. We all possess a little or a lot of fragile breaking points in our lives. We can develop them through traumatic experiences, lack of encouragement when we were children, lack of being loved - and a whole host of other circumstances. But we do not have to remain that way. There are solutions - there is help available from many sources.
God preserved the story of Israel as they were about to receive the blessing of the Promised Land. Representatives of all the tribes were sent to spy out the land. God had told them what to do, where to go and promised to be with them. There was danger from the cities in that land. There were "Giants" some said and the Israelites were like grasshoppers against them. Caleb and Joshua were excited and delighted at the challenge, knowing that God would be with them, but the rest voiced fears. They wept, allowed wild imagination to run amuck in their minds, and stated they would rather have died in the desert, gone back to Egypt and slavery or do almost anything else - but to accept the challenge and take the action God laid before them. The story is well told in Numbers 13 and 14. God is Almighty - when He promises to strengthen and help a chosen person, His name and reputation stands behind that promise. It is also totally true, that the person could overcome - or God would not have asked it of him. God does not toy with people, but He does expect us to grit our teeth and face adversity sometimes. He knows that there will come times of adversity in every life, and if we do not determine to win and prepare for battle, then we will be overcome by the adversity. We are to develop character!
Paul knew how we sometimes feel. He pointed out that we are expected to gather our inner strength, think, plan and get busy and do something when adversity strikes. In Hebrews 12, Paul wrote about being bold and active. He told people to "run with endurance (verse 1), look to Christ (verse 2), strengthen our hands and feeble knees (verse 12), make straight our paths (verse 13), pursue peace and holiness (verse 14), look carefully at our actions (verse 15), recognize and battle the root of bitterness (verse 15), because we have come to the general assembly of the firstborn who are registered in heaven and to God (verse 23), and not to refuse His voice (verse 25). In some ways, we are a little like Israel. God has brought us out of the darkness (which Satan has cast over mankind), with great power and miracles. He commands us to overcome in order to inherit eternal life (Rev. 21:7) just as Israel had to fight against their fears and growing inner panic. It is certain that if we possess a phobia and do nothing to erase it, it will grow and we will soon have a family of phobias within our hearts and minds. God commands us to fight and overcome - because He is with and within His people. We need to be like Caleb and Joshua and not like the others. Psalm 105 contains the record of help God gave. He permitted no one to do them wrong (verse 14), tested Joseph (and will test us) (verse 19), made them strong (verse 24), brought them out with wealth (verse 37), fed them (verse 40) and brought them out with joy to receive the land He had promised them (verse 42-44). At least, that was God's promise and intention - dependent upon them observing His laws and statutes (verse 45). Israel failed because they lacked courage and did not develop the tools of courage, faith, determination and endurance. They did not look ahead at the goal and recognize the power that was ready to help. Tools are made available - but humans must learn to use them.
Now it is our turn - yours and mine. We too have been brought out of "Egypt" (sin). We too have been given promises of help and strength. We too are expected to step out boldly with God as our Helper (Heb. 13:6). How can we fear if we truly know and believe that? What does that person have - who can whistle a happy tune and rise joyfully to meet the new day? Is there any way we can gain the tools that make him so positive? The answer to that is a definite "yes!" We can overcome all of our inner fears and inabilities. We can develop tools to handle stress. We can rejoice in the spice of life as we grow in strength and ability. Some of these tools will be so simple you may not believe it - but try them and experience the strength that will grow in you! Here are a few.
Physical activity and exercise is a great preventative measure to ward off burnout. Getting physically tired helps to burn off excess emotion and thus control external stress. Interestingly when we spend a whole day in some heavy physical activity, our brain rests from the inner stresses we may feel and that rest strengthens and refreshes us (Eccl. 5:12).
Confiding in a friend and getting things off of your chest is another excellent method of battling stress. Just finding words to express your fears and concerns is a step towards a solution. Good psychologists are first and foremost good listeners. Many a troubled person has gone home feeling better because they thought their way through their troubles while talking to a friend, and that seems to organize our concerns - which leads to a solution and a lowering of worry and distress (Prov. 17:17).
Helping another person and focusing on that assistance you can give is another tool. Men and women who have recovered from alcohol or drug abuse recognize that their recovery requires that they stretch out a hand to another who needs help. A proverb states: "help a man across the river with his boat and lo, yours has crossed too." Jesus' words to us often reflect the need to "do unto others" and "love your neighbor as yourself" (Matt. 7:12,19:19). He tells us to do charitable deeds (Matt. 6:1-3).
Develop a sense of humour and really search for happy things. Read funny stories, see good humorous movies and look for old joke books. Laughter and wholesome thoughts cause our brains to release endorphins - the result of happy thoughts. To watch kittens or puppies at play, children shouting and playing in a field, lambs frolicking in the meadow or the changing beauty of the setting sun are only a few of the moments in life we can cherish and relish. "A merry heart does good like a medicine" (Prov. 17:22) God tells us. He does not force a merry heart upon us - He knows that we need to exercise our minds to develop that. A merry heart provides strength and a bulwark against the negatives of life. It is one of our greatest tools. Our brains send out chemicals that reflect our thoughts - happy or sad. There are people who are terribly depressed due to chemical brain activity. That is an area that needs a lot of help - often more than is noted here.
Read the encouraging and hopeful stories of the Bible. Avoid the dark and negative - you have enough of that in your life - and focus on the wholesome (Phil. 4:8). When we focus on that which is positive, the negatives do fade. They may not disappear, but they change from being dominant and threatening, to being manageable.
Fight and resist the needless worries about things that have not been and might never be - don't cross bridges until you come to them (we learned that as children) (Matt. 6:25).
Don't try to serve two masters - this world and God. That is a destructive stress. Choose to serve God - He is the source of help and light (Matt. 6:24). We can be enticed by what seems to be exciting and enjoyable - only to find that it robs us of peace of mind.
In the wonderful sermon on the Mount - Jesus added that those who hear His sayings and do them will be like people who build their houses on the rock (Matt. 7:24-27). The rain is bound to come and the winds do blow. Our world has been rocked by calamities before and the word of God tells of the greatest calamity ever that lies ahead (Matt. 24:21). Jesus spoke of war, disease, hunger and conditions that are unimaginable. At the same time, He spoke of His followers and people who would be preaching the "gospel" or "good news" to the world (Matt. 24:14). These people will be strong and doing exploits (Dan. 11:32-35). During some of the most frightening times in history, the people who have heeded the words of Jesus Christ will not falter or fail. They will handle the trials and troubles that will come. Some may lose their lives for His name's sake - but they will conduct themselves with dignity, grace and the confidence that reflects their inner strength and hope. The words of the 23rd Psalm will be strong in their minds. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me." They will have learned how to live!
That great tribulation is still a little ways from us today. Developing the tools to serve God through that time is in the here and now. In Jesus' great prayer, He states that our lives are to be brought into complete unity with Him so the world will know God loves His children just as He loved His Son (John 17:23). Let us set our minds towards Him.